Freak Out Friday: Being Alone

The title of this post probably shocked you. You may be thinking: “She’s an introvert! How can being alone freak her out?” Which is understandable, because a lot of my posts are about being alone, or about being in the presence of one other person who makes you feel as comfortable as if you were alone.

But sometimes I get anxious about being alone too much. Being at a very small college (about 1,500 undergraduates), it feels like everyone knows who everyone is and is constantly judging. So when I’m eating alone, I can almost feel other people thinking, “She has no friends. What’s wrong with her?” Or when I spend a weekend in, I can feel people thinking, “She has no one to go out with. That’s so lame and sad.” It feels like the culture of my school is one of being social and going out (there isn’t too much else to do here). And don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy those things. I like the process of getting ready and listening to music and dancing and things like that. But I don’t like to be out really late. And I don’t do these things every weekend night. Usually, it’s more likely for me to stay in. Right now, I just feel like getting some work done and watching YouTube and drinking some tea and taking a nap tonight. And it often feels like I am being looked down upon for that.

staying in

I know that I should just do what I want and not care about what anyone else thinks. Maybe I’m just not old enough or mature enough to not be so bothered by what other people think. But sometimes I get confused as to what I really want to do and what I think others think I should be doing, because I spend so much time thinking about what others think. Do I really want to be social because I want to, or because I feel like other people think I should?

Maybe that’s just the nature of being in college and being surrounded by people all the time. Because in high school when I lived at home I don’t remember ever being self-conscious about spending a night in and falling asleep on my couch at 8:30 on a Friday night.

Do you worry about what other people think of you when you are alone? How do you combat our cultural stigma of needing to go out, especially on weekends? I’d love to hear in the comments 🙂

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8 thoughts on “Freak Out Friday: Being Alone

  1. Fantastic post, and a great read. I too felt like this for a long time, and even now I still feel the pressure of engaging in weekend social activities (although I rarely do). I care way too much about what people think of me, when really, all that matters is what I think of myself?

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    1. I sometimes worry about not “enjoying my college experience” when not going out. Sometimes I fear that I’m too boring. That I’m weird for not having much of a “craziest thing I’ve ever done” story. I’ve never been much of a partier, but I absolutely love the company of my friends. Honestly, I’d much rather hang out, eat, and watch a movie at my apartment with friends than go out. But I also recognize that this will not always be the case. Sometimes it is nice just to have a break from people, from the world. I can definitely relate!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I completely agree Bakari! Sometimes I feel like maybe I’m missing out by not doing these crazy things that other people do. But then I think, would I actually enjoy doing those things, or just do them for the story I could tell later? I really think that those nights of just hanging out and watching a movie with friends, like you said, are amazing nights. As long as you enjoy what you are doing, then you are enjoying your college experience! Thank you so much for your support; I’m so glad you can relate!

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  2. Great post!

    I still care way too much about what people think of me. It’s a part of my personality that I wish I could change. :/

    But once you reach your 30’s, the need to please/appease people lessens to an extent. I know I’m much more comfortable and content being alone now than when I was in high school and college.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m definitely looking forward to a time when I care less, and I’m glad that you are more comfortable now than before! It’s so hard to change caring about what others think. Thank you so much for your read and comment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post, I really enjoyed reading it. When I’m by myself, I’m perfectly content to stay in, or to do something on my own. It isn’t until someone asks me what I did on the weekend, or invites me to something, that I start feeling as if I’m being judged for doing things that way.

    I had to buy a new pair of jeans one time, so I went to the mall by myself and ended up running into a couple of friends there. They seemed shocked that I was shopping by myself and I started to feel as if I was doing something wrong. I hope this feeling will wear off eventually, because its kinda annoying 🙂

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